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Corporate LingoHere's a little clarification of corporate lingo."COMPETITIVE SALARY:" We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:" We have no time to train you; you'll have to introduce yourself to your coworkers. "SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, FUN, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE:"...who still live with their parents and won't mind our internship-level salaries. "CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:" We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings. "JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM:" We all listen to nutty motivational tapes. "A DRUG-FREE WORK ENVIRONMENT:" We booze it up at company parties. "MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:" You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day. "SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:" Some time each night and some time each weekend. "DUTIES WILL VARY:" Anyone in the office can boss you around. "MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:" We have no quality control. "COLLEGE DEGREE PREFERRED:" Unless you wasted those four years studying something useless like philosophy, English or religion. "CAREER-MINDED:" Female Applicants must must be childless (and remain that way). "APPLY IN PERSON:" If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled. "NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:" We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
Buying Shoes A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.
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