jbchenbin's Blog

SEX It means that... You are a passionate soul, a free spirit who is not afraid to express your sexuality with another consenting adult and feel that the physical side of love can be meaningful and beautiful. OR You"re a filthy degenerate who is no better than a rutting animal living solely for one carnal experience after another.

There was a father who was very proud of his three daughters. Every night he took a stroll around the house to make sure everything was all right. One night when he was doing his stroll, he could hear laughter coming from his youngest daughter`s room. He stood there for a while and thought about this, but reached the conclusion that he could always ask her tomorrow, instead of bothering her at this time of the night. When he reached the window of his second daughter, he could hear her crying. He thought about this too, but ultimately he decided to ask her tomorrow and continued. There were no sounds at all coming from his oldest daughter`s room, and he then went to bed, satisfied. The next day, when they all were gathered around the breakfast table, he said to his youngest daughter, "I heard you laughing last night, as I walked past your window. Why was that?" She answered, "That`s because you taught me to laugh when someone was making me happy." He then asked his second daughter, "I heard you crying last night, why was that?" She answered "That`s because you taught me to cry when someone was hurting me." He then told his oldest daughter, "I didn`t hear anything from you..." She said, "That`s because you taught me not to talk with my mouth full."

One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin. 有个女孩向神父告解她所犯的罪……… Girl: Father, I have sinned. 女孩：神父，我有罪。 Preacher: What did you do, little girl? 神父：孩子，你犯了什麽罪呢？ Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a "son of a Bitch." 女孩：昨天，我骂了某个男人一句：「你这个狗娘养的！」 Preacher: Why? What did he do to you? 神父：为什麽？他对你做了什麽吗？ Girl: He touched my breast. 女孩：他……他摸我的胸部。 Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.) 神父：你是说像这样子吗？（神父伸手摸女孩的胸部） Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes. 女孩：（因为神父的举动而有一些害羞）嗯……是的。 Preacher: That's no reason to call him that. 神父：只是这样子的话你没有理由骂他啊。 Girl: But he also took off my cloth. 女孩：但是……他又把我的衣服脱掉…… Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.) 神父：你是说像这样子吗？（神父动手脱掉女孩的衣服） Girl: Yes, that's what he did. 女孩：是的，是这样子没错。 Preacher: That's still no reason to call him that. 神父：可是这样子你还是没有理由骂他啊。 Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what... 女孩：然後……他把他的……那个……放到我的……那个……里面…… Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what) 神父：（奸笑貌）你是说像这样子吗？（神父和女孩就那个那个了） Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that's what he did... 女孩：（数分钟後）喔……是的……就是这样子……… Preacher: My dear girl, that's still no reason to call him a... 神父：我亲爱的孩子，就算是这样你还是没有理由骂他「你这个………」 Girl: But he had AIDS!! 女孩：但是他有 AIDS 呀!! Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!! 神父：那个狗娘养的!!!

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new girlfriend抯 birthday and decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note梤omantic but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart抯 younger sister, he went to Nordstrom抯 and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the girlfriend got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note: 揑 chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks, and they are hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me, and she looked really smart. I wish I were there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year! All my love. P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.?

A man and his wife were doing yard work. The husband said to his wife, "Your butt is as wide as the grill." She ignored his remark. A little later, the husband took his measuring tape and measured his wife`s rear end while she was bending over working in a flower bed. "Geeze, honey, it IS as wide as the grill!" She again ignored his remark. Later that night, while in bed, the husband started to feel frisky. He rolled over to start something with his wife and she calmly rolled away from him saying, "If you think I`m gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, forget it!"

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