letstry's Blog

Why is it harder to meet a mate, as I became an adult?

People often say to me that it got a lot more difficult to meet a mate, as they got older. And when I say older I mean 25 and older usually. What happened after High School or college is a common question that I am asked. Well, the question should be what happened to YOU. You were not prepared for what was waiting for you after you left school. College is a time of openness that allows some of the best hearts and souls of students. They are the many open-heart dreamers who feel that anything is possible. They are right but their dream is soon to expire. These like-minded people have a very easy time connecting in their youth. It is a time of exploration and possibility. At times like these the possibilities seem endless and the world is their oyster.

So what happens that changes all of this. Well, what is waiting there is a structure that is in place known as “The real world”. Spiritually it is not the real “Real world” but the thoughts of those college students and other “Dreamers” will be crushed in a very short time by a system that subconsciously will do this. These are some of the problems that are plaguing the dating world today. The structure is one of limitations not expansion. You must learn how to expand. This is something that is very difficult to learn unless someone teaches you. The issue is much too long to go into a blog but we will touch on it. You are living in a world where there have been put on you many limitations that will affect your dating life. Is it any wonder that there are so many dating services out today? There are so many dating services that it is almost a joke. The problem is not the dating service. I do feel that everyone should try a dating service at least once. The problem is most people have not been taught how to win at dating. Signing up for a dating service may be good but for most people it is like a man arriving on a first date with no clothes on to meet a woman. It will probably be the last time you see that person.

You were not prepared and this is why a dating service will not help most. This is why we created this blog, it is to help people show up prepared when you meet the right person. Our self-help Ebook “How to attract anyone you want” will help you win at dating and improve your life.

But how can you win at dating when you live in a world structure that actually creates misunderstanding between men and women. After you leave school you will be indoctrinated into a world that will actually help create your brain to think along the lines “They” want. You and your potential mate will stare at each other across the room and nothing will ever grow out this chance encounter. It will be another missed opportunity. It is not your fault. It is the structure that we live in. So yes it is different meeting a potential mate than when you were younger.

Can these limiting structures be broken? Yes they can but you must get at the root cause. Many do not realize it but the media is one of the largest influencers on your dating life. Yes, It is true; the media has consciously and unconsciously affect your change to get a mate. We are an over stimulated, over saturated, over informed people. You have been trained to think in ways that will stop your growth and the ability to meeting new people. If you think this is not a problem why is online dating sites a BILLION dollar business. Good people will always have to go back to the dating sites because the have been structurally conditioned in a limiting way, much will not come of your dating membership until you are aligned with Source. Welcome to the so-called real world.

Everyday is your last day at work. As I entered a very familiar small retail store I greeted the regular cashier who I have known for a few years. She looked a little upset and told me that the store was going out of business. She said she could not believe it after being the regular cashier for the last 7 years. She was upset about the prospect of having to find another job. It was all very over whelming for her. As I left the store I informed her that maybe she would find a better job. She looked at me a little puzzled and still not very happy. Now this woman was not more than 25 years old and very comfortable at that job. In reality it is a dead end job. She has never received a promotion and the owners have kept her in the same position for the 7 years.

What is she really missing? Well, the fact is she got comfortable with the paycheck. It basically meets her living needs with no real future advancements. This store is located in a very poor neighborhood and the job allows her to live paycheck to paycheck. What is it about the paycheck that can stop our growth?  The answer is that many times when being offered a job we receive a feeling of security. Our basic needs of food, shelter and clothing will be met. We are proud to say that we work for some large or well-known organization.

This is good but there is a problem. You see your first day is also your last day. As long as your name is not on the company you can be replaced in a second. You can be friends with the manager or supervisors but even they can be replaced very easily. People speak today about the lack of job security. Many speak of the good old days when you kept a job for 30 years raised a family and then received a reward from the company as you retired at 65 years old (often with no life left in you). Many of these people had good friendships and nice memories but this was never really fulfilling. Most of these people did these jobs to pay bill but had very little growth. When asked most say they would want a better future for their children then they had. Why? The reason is that even though they had good jobs they were not growing very much. The problem is “Security”, we feel that we should be happy and luck to get a good job so we expect no more growth but there is more than this. You see the Universe (God) is constantly expanding and changing like the seasons, the Universe hates so call security in any material thing as a job. It does love growth though; security is a temporary condition that is always changing. This is why a great relationship still has to grow; if one person grows and the other does not usually the growing person wants out, this is the case for many divorces. There is an inward invisible expansion that the Universe put in us for growth. And it is good.

You see the Universe knows that we are creatures of habit that hates change so we are forced inwardly to feel unfulfilled when there is no growth, think of it as a spiritual push. What is boredom but just a lack of growth. You can be rich and bored or poor and bored it has nothing to do with money it is an invisible force. 

You must live from a perspective of growth not security. Growth is joy and exciting while security is playing it safe but the problem is the safe is not really safe. The problem with security is you are playing life not to LOSE but you are not playing to WIN. When a job hires you this is the best time to set your exit plan. In one year I want to have grown by a certain level so I can be promoted or get a job higher from the experience I required. Unless you sign the paycheck or approve of the funds from the bank to go into your account you can be let go of your job today. And for all the managers, executives and supervisors out there they are usually the highest paid but often the first fired. You can love your job but do not be lulled into a sense of security.

Science tells use that all things were formed from nothing. Invisible as gasses are invisible. We do not understand the invisible because our eyes cannot see all. Our eyes cannot see an atom or germs or many other things. You cannot trust your eyes. Our eyes are limited in what we are allowed to see. In agreeing with Science, Religion also tells us that the unseen creates the seen. Science and Religion have been speaking the same thing in different languages forever. You were created right out of this unseen and intelligence has asked you to do your part in creating. You were created to EXPAND. You must expand in love to cause expansion for others. This is perfection, all of creation expanding in love for the whole. When Jesus said” I came from “INVISIBLE SOURCE” he was scientifically and spiritually correct. What are you doing with your 70 years in flesh? Some get fewer years some get more. The number of years do not matter it is how much expansion of joy did you give.

Some may ask how does this all relate to their job? Well what is your job…do you expand love and joy in creation to others or is it just to pay bills. Do you want to waste your wonderful and powerful existence of 70 years on bill paying? Is this what the Universe put you here for? To smile at a boss you do not like just for money. I always hear people ask me what then should I do, I must pay bills and live. I will give you an example of a solution. There was a guy at a job who was very unhappy. He hated the job but was wasting his 70 years just for money. One day he was asked by his sister to attend a Salsa class. Many people at the job laughed at him when he said he was learning to dance. Well…he loved the class, he was happy after work, sometimes looking at the clock at work knowing that he only had one hour left of work so he could attend dance class. The classes made him much more confident at work, he laughed more and with the added confidences he started attending yoga classes! (HE WAS EXPANDING!) The new circle of friends he met lead to him to meeting a friend at dance class who offered him a job from another man looking for a nice guy to greet customers at a hotel.

 He now loves his job where he has been for over 4 years and they love him. He meets new travelers everyday and even met his wife at the hotel. I ask you again what are you doing with you 70 years. If you ONLY have a job you are wasting your life because you are not your job! You are what you are expanding!! Imagine if Bill Gates only wanted a job there would be no Microsoft and maybe no Internet, as we know it. Imagine if Albert Einstein only wanted a job. Imagine if Gandhi only wanted a job or Martin Luther King.

You do not have to be famous to expand. But most of us have fallen short of the bigger plan that the universe (God) had for us. You may be called to just give love to your children or animals and you will expand. Ask the universe for expansion of yourself for others and you will be amazed how your life will change. Remember jobs were made to serve people not people to serve the job. Work yes but remember you are not your job.