lovelypet's Blog
21 No-Cost (or Extremely Low-Cost) Ways to Remind Your Special Other of How Much You Love Them
It's so easy, as we race through each day trying to accomplish an impossible number of tasks, to forget about those we love. Soon, and often unintentionally, one partner, or both, are left feeling unappreciated, overlooked and in need of some serious "TLC."
Logically, we all know that a relationship must receive attention if it is to grow. Realistically, few of us take the time to fan the relationship flames as often as we should. But help is on the way.
Showing your special someone how much you love them doesn't have to take a lot of time or cost a lot of money. In fact, it's better if it doesn't -- it's the little things that we remember most. So don't wait until next Valentine's Day to show your significant other that you love and appreciate them. Try to incorporate at least one of these romantic ideas into your partner's day, everyday (and when you've done them all, keep going by creating your own, or repeat the cycle!)
Cook them their favorite meal. Have it ready to go when they walk in the door, complete with candles.
Leave a note for your special other (or tuck one into a lunch/briefcase) telling them how much you care.
Try your hand at a love poem that includes special memories only the two of you share. Leave it somewhere unexpected.
Make your partner a CD of "your" songs. Have it playing when they come home.
If married, have your wedding vows framed and give it to your spouse "just because."
On a cold day, warm up their car for them.
Volunteer to do their share of the housework so they can relax.
Let them sleep in.
Pamper your significant other by running a bath for them. Include bath salts, candles, and soft music, then wash their hair
Give your partner a massage (before they ask for it).
Bring them lunch at work.
Stop to say hello, kiss and hug every time you come in the front door.
Pack a lunch and take your special someone on a surprise picnic or walk in the woods. Or, pack a desert and go stargazing.
Flirt with them.
Hold his or her hand.
Bring them a blanket or sweater if they look cold.
Tell them you love and appreciate them, don't just assume they know.
Create your own holiday, then surprise your significant other with a celebration. This could be: "Happy 18 days since your last cigarette," a 2.5-year anniversary, or "I Love You More Than Ever Day."
Leave a flower and a note on the windshield of their car.
Cuddle for at least five minutes in the morning before getting out of bed.
Buy them a small, but meaningful, gift such as their favorite gourmet coffee, a pair of warm socks because their feet are always cold, a book on tape for them to listen to while stuck in traffic, etc.
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Ladies, if you want to have a successful dating life, certain phrases should never come out of your glossy lips. Here they are:
1. WHEN WILL I SEE YOU AGAIN? You?ll see him when you see him. If he wants to see you again, he?ll call. If not, next. You don?t have time for anyone that doesn?t have time for you.
2. WHY DIDN?T YOU CALL? There?s only one answer to this question: Because he didn?t want to!!! What you?re really asking is, ?Why didn?t you want to call me?? Who knows!! There could be a lot of reasons, but you shouldn?t be sitting around wondering why. You should be out dating lots of different guys and not worrying about ONE guy. Don?t be so quick to put all your eggs into one basket, because if they break, it?s a big mess!
3. WHERE WERE YOU? If he wanted you to know where he was, he?d tell you. What you?re really asking is, ?Where you with another female that you like better than me?? Your insecurity is showing, my dear. If anything, he should be wondering where you were.
4. I LOVE YOU (FIRST) - You?re saying it in the hopes that he?ll say it back, but what if he doesn?t? You?ll be devastated and probably feel foolish. Saying ?I love you? is not going to speed things up if he?s not ready to say it back. So just cool it, and let him be the first to say it when he?s ready.
5. DID YOU SLEEP WITH HER? As long as he?s not sleeping with her now, who cares? The past is gone. Don?t torture yourself (and him) with these thoughts. In this case, ignorance really is bliss.
6. I?M PREGNANT. In 2005, with all the birth control choices available, there is no excuse for becoming pregnant, unless you want to be. You should be using something and he should use a condom, every time.
7. WHERE IS THIS GOING? Nowhere fast if that?s your attitude. Guys want someone fun and easy to be with, not someone that?s constantly worrying about the future. His actions or non-actions will tell you where it?s going. If it?s going somewhere, you?ll know it. If it?s not, you?ll know it too.
8. WE NEED TO TALK. This is the equivalent of, ?Go to the principal?s office?. Guys know it?s not going to be a fun conversation, so they?re already on the defense. If you need to discuss something, just casually bring it up when the both of you are relaxed. Don?t try to talk to him when he?s tired, stressed or trying to watch tv!
9. I HATE YOU! Even if you do, it?s totally uncalled for and un-lady like. If there?s an issue, be mature enough to discuss it when you?re calm. If he?s breaking up with you, reacting with anger may make you feel better temporarily, but it?s best to remain calm and act unfazed. He?ll wonder why you?re so cool about it and that may make him re-think his decision. Always be pleasant during a break up. Do you want to be known as the girl that goes psycho if someone breaks up with her?? I didn?t think so.
10. I DON?T TRUST YOU. What you?re actually saying is, ?You need to step up your game, because I can see you?re up to something.? If he is up to something, he?ll just become even sneakier. Better to think smart and act dumb-it?ll be easier to get the evidence you need to confirm your suspicions.
Lucia is a dating and relationship expert, columnist, lecturer and host of the TV Show "The Art of Love".
With over 20 years experience on the relationship market, Lucia has dated men of all nationalities in six cities, four countries and two continents. Her practical know-how makes her the perfect candidate to dispense relationship advice ? after all, in almost every dating dilemma she has been there, done that and lived to tell about it.
For more articles or to ask Lucia a question, go to: http://www.theartoflove.net
| Lucia is a dating and relationship expert, columnist, lecturer and host of the TV Show "The Art of Love".
With over 20 years experience on the relationship market, Lucia has dated men of all nationalities in six cities, four countries and two continents. Her practical know-how makes her the perfect candidate to dispense relationship advice ? after all, in almost every dating dilemma she has been there, done that and lived to tell about it.
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Reason #1 diamonds are a girls best friend because they are so beautiful. Fiery, romantic diamonds light up her finger. White diamonds look beautiful with outfits in every color.
Reason #2 diamonds are forever. There are lots of beautiful things around. Why diamonds? Roses are beautiful, but they fade. Dresses are gorgeous, but after childbirth, or as she ages, that beautiful dress would not look as beautiful on her anymore.
Reason #3 diamonds are precious. Sure, moissanite may be what a girl might buy for herself, because of its lower price, but moissanite is man made. Diamonds are rare, natural stones. The diamonds that girls love are of the highest quality. The lower grade diamonds may be used in tools, but women look at the quality of the diamond. A large, high quality diamond would definitely impress.
Reason #4 diamonds are romantic. Especially when he is proposing to her with a diamond worth two months of his salary. It means sacrifice for love on his part. The fact that he loves her enough to save that sum to buy that diamond for her is a very romantic gesture that she will remember for years to come, each time she sees that diamond on her finger.
Reason #5 diamonds say that her man can provide for her very well. From the days when men would go out and hunt for animals to feed the family, to today, when most men go out there to bring in the money to support the family, women love being cared for. Being provided for. In many cultures, women look to marry a rich man. A man who can provide for them. If a guy can afford to give her diamonds, he can easily provide for her daily needs and for that of her children.
Reason #6 diamonds are practical. Like the song, diamond's are a girl's best friend. A kiss will not pay the bills. A rose isn't going to pay for her rental. A diamond, on the other hand, in times of emergency, can be a life saver. A single diamond can be sold for enough money to pay for a woman's bills when times get tough.
Reason #7 diamonds are a girl's insurance. Ok, so now, there are insurance policies in paper, that promise to pay for her old age medical bills etc, but diamonds are a lot more beautiful. She holds and sees them. She wears them. Everyone admires them. They assure her that even when she gets old, when she loses her looks, even if her guy leaves her for a younger woman, the diamonds would still be with her. A collection of diamond jewelry assures her that in her old age, or she is in dire need for cash, a piece of diamond jewelry could be sold, or pawned for much needed cash. Diamonds are a girl's insurance.
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In my private practice for over 14 years no matter what my clients have come to see me about, there has always been an issue about a better relationship.
Here are 7 of the most common misconceptions my clients have related to me about having a better relationship. These misconceptions are followed by my perspective on each one of them.
Myth 1 I have to love everything about my partner
Reality Check 1
You were born pure and pristine. You then learnt behaviors from your parents, teacher, coaches, church etc. (who did their best to teach you about a better relationship). These behaviors have become the backbone for your way of living and having a better relationship.
Perhaps a common behavior that irritates having a better relationship would be leaving the toilet seat up after use. This is merely a behavior and not the essence of the person. However, when you may consider this behavior to be the person, this destroys the concept of a better relationship, creating all kinds of conflict in your need for a better relationship.
Myth 2 Love means that I can fix your partner
Reality Check 2
You met your partner because of some special quality or charteristic that you admired. You need to accept and allow that quality to flourish in order to allow you and your partner to grow into a better relationship.
You may be unaware that you do not even like yourself. Yet by allowing your partner to grow and expand, you will experience the quality of your partner and the beauty within you, as you begin to enjoy a better relationship.
Myth 3
I am supposed to give up the things I like in order to be in a better relationship.
Reality Check 3
Giving up the things you like to be in a better relationship is like take a knife and cutting away a part of yourself.
Your better relationship is based on the uniqueness of you and your partner.
When you give up your uniqueness you rob yourself of a better relationship, your passion and your partner of your creativity.
Myth 4 I will be rescued by a knight in shining armour
Reality Check 4
You may have been conditioned to live your life expecting someone to take care of you. What happens if that person becomes ill? and is no longer able to take care of you.
Your responsibility in creating a better relationship, is to bring your passion to the table of your relationship. Some days you will be the knight in shining armour and another day your partner will be the knight in shining armour of a better relationship.
You will each get a chance to shine like star in a better relationship because of your strengths and weaknesses.
Myth 5 It cost a lot to be in a relationship
Reality Check 5
In a material context, a better relationship can be expensive if you think that love is based on the bigger house, car or boat. Although some of these material assets are necessary, they should not be at the expense of creating a better relationship.
Love is creating a better relationship by building a relationship that is based on the simple things in life, like walking and holding hands, going on a picnic (just the two of you), or sharing an ice cream.
Love in a better relationship is not about what you show on the outside but what you express in you heart. Love is not about money or materialism, love just is.
Myth 6 Love in a relationship is or is not a feeling
Reality Check 6
It is not what you say, it is what you do. You can say, "I love you" which may be merely words and no feelings (action). Love is the action of doing.
If you make a cup of tea for yourself, (the water is boiled), make a cup of tea for your partner. Whether your partner wants the tea or not is irrelevant, it is the thought that counts and the action that cements a better relationship.
Myth 7 I don't have to work at my relationship
Reality Check 7
As a child, you learned to creep before you walked. Then you learned the letters of the alphabet. In order to write, you had to learn how to put those letters together to make words and sentences.
These sentences then become the way in which you communicated.
When you and your partner stop communicating after learning how to use the letters of the alphabet in sentences, it's like 2 tape recorders talking to each other - Nobody is at home to enjoy a better relationship.
In summary:
1. Your partner's behavior in a better relationship is not your partner's true essence.
2. There is no need to have a clone of yourself. A better relationship requires some variety.
3. Giving up of your uniqueness to be in a better relationship is like throwing out the baby with the bath water.
4. In a better relationship there are no superior partners, just equal partners.
5. Love in creating a better relationship is not about money and the material assets (although there are important) but the simple things in life.
6. Love in a better relationship is active not passive.
7. Lack of communication crushes your desire for a better relationship.
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