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 Number 10 of TOP 20 MOST FUNNY..AND MOST OFFENSIVE.

10. The talking statue

Joke submitted by Dick Greenleaf:

A workman is doing work inside a church. He sees a little old Italian lady get down in front of a statue of Mary and start to pray.

The workman decides to have a little fun. He gets behind the statue of Jesus and loudly says, "Woman, get off your kness. Don't pray to her, pray to me!"

The little old Italian lady looks up at the statue of Jesus and says, "Shutup your mouth, I'm talking to your mother!"

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Number 9 of TOP 20 MOST FUNNY...AND MOST OFFENSIVE.

9. The Trinity's holiday 

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Joke submitted by alienfromzog and Sacristy Rate:

The Trinity were planning a holiday. The Spirit, manifesting the creative part of the divine nature, was coming up with the ideas. "Let's go to New York," he suggested.

"No, no, no," said the Father, "They're all so liberated, they'll spend the whole time calling me 'Mother' and it will just do my head in."

So the Spirit sat back and thought. "I know, what about Jerusalem?" he said. "It's beautiful and then there's the history and everything."

"No way!" the Son declared. "After what happened the last time, I'm never going there again!"

At this point, the Spirit got annoyed and went off in a huff. Sometime later he returned and found that the Father and Son had had a idea they both thought was excellent:

"Why don't we go to Rome?" said the Son.

"Perfect!" cried the Holy Spirit. "I've never been there before!"

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Number 6 of TOP 20 MOST FUNNY..AND MOST OFFENSIVE

6. The desperate man on a train

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Joke submitted by Spike:

A man ran through a crowded train looking very agitated, calling out, "Is there a Catholic priest on board?"

When he got no reply, he ran back up the train shouting, "Is there an Anglican priest on board?" Still no reply.

By now becoming more desparate, he ran down the train shouting, "Is there a Rabbi on board?"

Eventually, a gentleman stood up and said, "Can I be of any assistance, my friend? I'm a Methodist minister."

The man looked at him and said, "No, you're no bloody good. I need a corkscrew!"

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