thepup's Blog

You might be surprised that I have entitled this article "the law of attraction is a lie." Actually, this quote did not come from me, but was posted on a message board recently by a Law of Attraction skeptic whom I will call "Doubting Thomas" (name changed to protect privacy).

It seems that "Thomas" wasn't thrilled with the Law of Attraction, and the following is an excerpt from the message board post that outlined his position:

"...[Law of Attraction] people think that their thoughts have some kind of power, but they don't really matter at all. It's just what you do that makes a difference. Not what you think. I can sit around thinking about having a better job for months, but until I get up off my ass and do something nothing is going to happen. All this talk about the law of attraction is a lie..."

Thomas' thoughts on the Law of Attraction represent a misunderstanding and complaint that I hear occasionally as a law of attraction coach -- That action is important, but thoughts are not.

But there is a logical problem with this kind of reasoning. To begin with, it assumes that our thoughts and our actions are unrelated. This is a dualistic way of seeing the world -- as if thoughts were one thing, and actions were another.

In reality, our thoughts and actions are intertwined to the point of being indistinguishable. Let's take a look at a "real world" example of how thoughts and actions are related.

Every major league sports team has a coach. The greatest coaches in the world understand the importance of motivating their players, and keeping them in a positive state of mind. Why is that?

Winning sports coaches understand that you cannot expect your actions to be successful, if your mindset is one of failure.

Another example: anyone who has been through basic training in the military knows that "boot camp" has two primary purposes: to get troops into the right physical condition, and to get troops into the right mental condition.

Ask any Drill Sergeant which of these two is more important, and I think you will find that mental conditioning is the most important aspect of military basic training.

While I can agree with "Thomas" that action is important, I believe that the thoughts behind the action are even more important. For example, Hitler was a man of action. The problem was that Hitler's actions were based on terrible thoughts, terrible ideas and a terrible state of mind. Consequently, his actions were also terrible.

We cannot separate our thoughts from our actions -- they are two sides of the very same coin. So the idea that "action is important, but thoughts aren't" is just absurd.

Wise old Benjamin Franklin once said, "The thought is the ancestor of all action." Ben obviously understood that "how we think" determines "how we act." And as we come to understand the power of our own thoughts, it's pretty hard to believe that "the law of attraction is a lie."

Preventing stress is not so easy. This is the common health problem that most people are facing nowadays. Even though stress itself cannot be a cause for death, there can be many side effects from it. Stress appears in the body in many ways and shapes. Stress is brought in a different way in every person and for some people it is a distressing or disease that can destroy an entire life.

Some of the reasons for stress can be work, family, a terrible or sudden loss of a loved one, an ended marriage or relationship or problems in health and diet. Stress can come from anything and it can take over a person's life very swiftly. It is important for people to learn how to avoid stress or more stress in their life.

The best way to prevent stress is to have a good diet. You need to make sure that you are satisfying your body with healthy food that will bear or hold your mental and physical health. The more junk that you eat will in turn make you gain weight or hurt your health. Eating too much of this junk food will only make a person feel bad and may cause despair for some people.

Having a good exercise program plays an important role in relieving stress. Exercise can make a person feel better, when they are feeling bad. It will help you to take stress out of the body and help you feel better inside and outside. You will be burning off calories and helping your body become stronger and healthier by reducing stress that you are accumulating.

There are also medications for people who are dealing with stress. There are different forms of medical prescription that a doctor can prescribe for a person. There are also forms of vitamins that can be used to help a person deal with stress as well. These vitamins are going to help with the support of the mind and help people to maintain a better outlook.

One of the most important measure to be taken in preventing stress is to have a good support system. This means that you should have the help that you are going to need from your friends and family. You will want to have someone to lean on when you are in need and they will be there with you through all of your stressful situations. You will be able to control or manage your stress and feel more sure or certain in finding a way out of it.

With a personal development plan you can recreate your life. Devising a solid map in building or developing your life requires taking an honest look at your life. If you wish to re-invent yourself, each area of your life must be dissected .Knowing what you wish to alter or modify is how to start the process. You should have a focus for learning a new set of behaviors. Think where you are now and where you see yourself after finishing a goal. A goal is like a finish line where you run forward for the achievement and aim for the prize.

In a personal development plan setting goals is the top priority. It requires a specific and clear intention followed by action. Once you have established your goal, it should be followed with constant behaviors which are helpful to reach that goal. How do you learn new behaviors? You can learn by educating yourself. Looking for knowledge on your specific area of focus is essential for replacing old behaviors or habits with new ones. Plenty of resources exist today for self-help. On any level, you can find information to teach you how to recognize or make out areas that create problem in your life. If in the process you find yourself overwhelmed, frustrated or just plain stuck, thinking of using a life coach.

Life coaches are a great and magnificent resource for success with a personal development plan. They can offer a strong support system. They have information of self-improvement tools and skills to teach them to you. A life coach will give you optimistic or helpful feedback and support you to carry on or continue. Not everyone can do it alone that is why life coaches exist. There is a lot to be said about someone encouraging you on doing something. They can help scrutinize or observe your successes and setbacks.

Whether you choose to use a life coach or not go do it alone, be sure to zero in on your strengths. It is easy to fall prey to loss of self-confidence from not concentrating on strengths. Learn new skills to balance or match your strengths and confidence. It is surprising to know that how learning affects over-all well being.

When you create your personal development plan, you need to realize that it is not a magic to happen instantly. It is mandatory to be conscious of your world and how you operate within it. Daily you must make choices based on your goal. By doing so, gradually the prize does appear. You must also understand that personal development is a life choice. Some people appear content to meander in their world. Still, life is meant for changes. By doing the same thing repeatedly, you will get the same results. Self improvement in life settings and conditions should always be considered relevant and essential.

With a good personal development plan you can recreate your life. Identifying the problem areas of your life is the first step. Set realistic goals. Choose actions and behaviors which benefit the goals. Keep up a positive support system. Most of all congratulate yourself for wanting something different in your life.

The world today requires us to make many critical decisions regarding personal and professional life, in a day. A businessman needs to make quick and efficient decisions about the company he leads. An investor needs to make decisions as to what firm is best to invest in at the given day and time. These are only a couple of examples of the kinds of quick decisions people sometimes need to make.

There was a time when people were told by their superiors that when you make such important decisions in life you need to leave your emotions out of the thought process. People were encouraged to think mechanically if you may, and let numbers and equations be the only factors that affect their decision.

However, a study on the past success of businessmen shows that it was that group of people who did best in life who took their emotions into account when making critical decisions. Thus we see the need to study this phenomenon called emotional intelligence or EQ.

Successful people are those that are able to deal well with their own emotions and who are able to recognize the emotions of others around them as well.

Since it is not possible to remove emotions from your life, you would do better to deal with them rather than try and suppress them. Suppressed emotions can only result in frustrated feelings. Even in business deals, you need to keep in mind that it is in fact people who are behind the work flow. When you understand people better you will be able to deal with them better, and therefore get a better work result out of them.

Every body knows that making the right contacts is a big part of being a successful businessman. When your social skills are right, you make contacts easily, and you social skills depend on your understanding of people's emotions. No one wants to stay in touch with a rude or manner less person. Here we see emotional intelligence at work yet again. When we have a good level of EQ, we understand our own selves much better and therefore are at peace with our inner self as well as with other people around us.

Also, when you have the right balance of emotional intelligence understanding, you can handle stress like never before. Rather than get frustrated at situations beyond our control, we will begin to see on the brighter side of things always, and that is a healthy attitude that can only do you good in the long run.

Any way you look at it, you cannot run away from your emotions. Rather if you tried to harness the energy they create for a positive impact on your life, you will see life become better by the day.

Strong emotions such as anger are dangerous to repress. Heart disease and cancer are the by products of such repression, among other things.

But over the years I've noticed that people who express their anger are control freaks and are toxic in the ways they choose to express themselves.

The afflictive emotions such as anger, jealousy, hatred envy, unwarranted pride, seething resentments are emotional red flags suggesting that the problem lies within.

"It is a spiritual axiom that when ever we are disturbed, there is something wrong with us." Step 10 in the 12/12, an AA recovery book. Restraint of tongue and pen and cleaning the wreckage from our past are the instructions given by Bill W(ilson).

I was reminded yesterday of two resident doctors who held everyone hostage by their constant put downs and expressions of anger.

These women were sorry souls.

I complained to the administrative powers about the behavior of these women. In my opinion at the time, no one was doing them any favors by allowing them to act in ways that consistently alienated everyone in their emotionally toxic pathways.

Emotional intelligence can be taught.

But administration was afraid of these women. Nurses were afraid of them. Sometimes I gleefully fantasized telling them where to go, but knew enough to show restraint of pen and tongue.

We must learn to cultivate the antidotes to afflictive emotions as they arise. The most powerful antidote to any and all of these toxic emotions is to open the heart and allow compassion for a person--and all people everywhere, to take root and become habitual action.

And the moment we feel these emotions such as anger, a habit of giving it to the Higher Power for transformation may be one of the most powerful antidotes we can practice.

The Higher Power gives us the needed love and compassion as soon as we seek out this kind of unseen help.

We must learn to meditatively cultivate the antidotes to anger such as patience and forbearance.

If you are facing the vile behavior of another person, and you experience an open heart of compassion towards that person, you may notice at the same time that the deplorable behavior is not what is tolerated, only the person.

This distinction, transforming anger towards a person and at the same time having a powerful desire to stop the vile behavior, are two simultaneously human emotions that when practiced together, prevents a person's patience from plummeting into an apathetic and depressive state.

In the latest political campaign, the press is attempting to write off John Edwards, Democratic Presidential hopeful, as an angry man.

John Edwards typifies the difference between anger, a purely afflictive emotion, and moral outrage.

I believe that Edwards displays what I will call compassionate wrath, a forceful kind of compassion that may look like anger to the untrained knee jerking pundits, but in reality doesn't have the violence and destruction associated with it.

I expect a candidate to have moral outrage about the problems that face our country.

And I'd be worried if I didn't experience moral outrage, as well.

No longer can we afford the luxury of a negative thought, nor can the world. The discipline required to work on myself is a necessity.

The alternative never was attractive and becomes less so as the days go on.

And as soon as I realize that the unseen helpers: the higher guides, angels and Higher Power are here at all times, then anger and fear and all the afflictive emotions are rendered powerless.

And freedom is the magnificent result!!