'It's GO TIME for Barbara
Morgan,' shouts the crazed
on-air personality, 'who's
waited twenty years for
this!!!'Only seconds ago, NASA
mission commentator Rob Navias
has managed to spit out a
whole mouthful of, 'Liftoff!!!
...of Space Shuttle Endeavor,
expanding the International
Space Station, while creating
a classroom
more

'It's GO TIME for Barbara
Morgan,' shouts the crazed
on-air personality, 'who's
waited twenty years for
this!!!'Only seconds ago, NASA
mission commentator Rob Navias
has managed to spit out a
whole mouthful of, 'Liftoff!!!
...of Space Shuttle Endeavor,
expanding the International
Space Station, while creating
a classroom in space!'For
GOD'S sake, people, have a
little
dignity:YOU.ARE.FUCKING.NASA:T
he National Aeronautics and
Mother-fucking Space
Administration!!!You are the
ONLY agency of the US
Government that is not
universally hated by all
Americans. You are the
motherfruzzagin' PIMPS of the
stratosphere!As such, NASA,
you do not need to have your
ascent commentators degrade
themselves and mar their own
monologues with these
glaringly unnatural bits of
marketing department
gobbledygook!A successful
Shuttle launch is NOT the same
thing as winning a NASCAR
race. It is many orders of
magnitude more important and
more difficult, and it ought
to be spoken of in a dignified
manner. For fuck's sake NASA,
you KNOW those good ole oval
track boys sound like
self-conscious idiots when
they're getting sprayed with
champagne, a race commentator
with a microphone asks them
about some challenge they
encountered en route to
victory, and they reply, 'Well
Bob, the Oldsmobuick Monte
Cutlass chassis with Dynamic
Maxi-Traction Sport Suspension
performed flawlessly, and of
course, with the backing of my
Oldsmobuick-Team America Pit
Crew, winning this thing was
truly a team effort...'And
blah, blah, blah...Come on,
NASA: Just pretend to have a
scrap of self-respect: In so
doing, you'd allow us peasants
to pretend, just for those
few, glorious moments of fiery
ascent, that we're CAPCOM, and
not a bunch of drooling,
civilian, tax-paying,
flag-waving, striped-ass
baboons.

Category Travel & Places

Tags The, Secret, Flight, Walter, Mitty